Ecstasy of St. Gemma: 96-100
The Ecstasies of St. Gemma, a powerful testimony of faith
Ecstasy 96
She is humbled when she considers that Jesus has almost crossed the limits in loving her. Jesus hides from her and she lovingly seeks him (Cf. P. GERM. n. XXIV).
[About 26] June 1902.
Your love, O God, has crossed the very limits. Yes, he crosses the limits towards me. Or what do you want, Jesus? To a creature, oh my God, who to idolize pleasure has turned his back on you many times, do you do this?… you always make me stay under the weight of your divine mercy, instead of making me stay under the weight of your divine mercy. .. [justice].
I always seek you, O Jesus; I try to always promote your glory, to love nothing but your love. But answer me, O Jesus; why this silence?… My God, why don’t you answer me?… Tell me something. If you wanted correspondence from me, you should have given me these gifts slowly, not with as much haste as you did.
O Jesus, O light, where are you?… Illuminate my eyes; don’t make me live in darkness anymore, oh my God… . So when will I see you again, O Jesus? But… maybe you told me that I won’t see you again?… I don’t remember if you told me.
Give me wings, O Jesus, so that I can fly to your throne… But there are too many things, O Jesus, that prevent this soul from flying to you… Give him a command, O Jesus; you will see that everyone will calm down. Stay there alone, O Jesus, in my soul, and you will see that no one will dare to molest it anymore.
But I don’t see you… I don’t see you at all… When I was little, they told me that you were always there, but I don’t see you… But where are you?… Where did you go?… without even saying goodbye!… .
Ecstasy 97
Invite all the righteous and blessed to praise and thank the Lord; ask for fire that burns his heart. Jesus is his God, who is like him? (Cf. P. GERM. n. XXXIII).
Friday 27 June 1902.
To you the saints, O Jesus, and the humble of heart; not me, oh Lord. To you all the spirits and souls of all the righteous; not me, Lord. To you all the inhabitants of heaven; I don’t… May everyone give you infinite praise and thanks. But, I too, I too, O Jesus… yes, I, a vile and unworthy sinner, have the desire to love you, and of a singular love. Help me, my fortress. Fire, fire to my heart: this morning it burns!… Words to my mouth… May I meditate on your glory day and night and love you continuously. My lips are impure, my whole body is impure. I need you: that you cleanse me from every stain. Sanctify me, O Jesus. May your memory… your sweetness always keep my soul united with you. Make it pass from visible to invisible things; from earthly to heavenly things.
O my God, my Jesus!… What do you say, O Jesus?… O true charity, you are my God; because towards you I always feel myself moving; I always feel carried towards you, and I hope to reach you. When I deal with you, I feel restored; but when you leave me, I feel faint, fall…
Faith tells me; the one you put in my heart to illuminate my steps… Grant, oh my God, that whoever knows you, knows the truth, eternity. You, who as long as I live in this fragile body…
These are the words that my father taught me: Who is like you, my God?… Who is like you, my God?… Who?… You are an almighty God. My Jesus, true charity, you are my God…
Ecstasy 98
She confesses her misery and impotence, and exalts the mercy and liberality of Jesus, which she anxiously seeks, eager to free herself from the bonds of her body and fly to him (Cf. P. GERM. Nn. XXIII and XXVII).
Saturday 28 June 1902.
Lord, if you want, you can save me; but the number of miseries I carry with me is great and infinite. Remember, O Jesus, mercy…
I hoped, O Jesus, as I have confessed before you many times, to be sufficient for something; I hoped in my own strength… But when I started to do it alone, that’s when I fell, and I lost everything that you had made me gain. But soon, O Jesus, you enlightened me, and then I understood that what I believed I was sufficient for was precisely what I could never do by myself. I had the will and lacked the power; I had the power and I lacked the will…
But I really have nothing to boast about before you!… You loved me, oh Jesus… You wanted to place me above so many creatures. I am proud of your favors, but I know my misery more and more… Don’t expect anything from me… And what can you expect from a bit of mud, capable only of offending you?…
And I will give you love; but I no longer have any, because I no longer have the heart!… . And then, O Jesus, don’t ask me for love, because I owe it to you out of gratitude… Oh, if I could please you a little in the same way that you please me!…
My God, my help… my fortress… my support… my light!… Enlighten my steps…
Where have you gone, my Love?… Where have you hidden?… Why don’t you let me see you anymore?… If I can’t see you, because I’m alive, let me die, because I want it. I wish to die, but to come only with you.
Where have you gone, my Jesus?… Infinite beauty, where have you hidden yourself?… Where should I look for you, oh Jesus?… Let me see you only once… But perhaps, oh Jesus, you told me that I won’t see you again on earth?… I don’t remember. I would really like to see you, oh Jesus… But I feel you and that should be enough for me… When I was little, they told me that you were always present… Or how is it that I don’t see you?… Untie this body, O Jesus… break these chains… I will not be happy until my free and alone soul flies to you. When will I be able to fully enjoy myself in you? .
O love of sweetness!… O sweetness of love!… .
Ecstasy 99
Burn with divine love. He desires eagle wings to fly to Jesus, in whom alone his soul finds rest. Ask Jesus to expand his heart, because it is no longer enough to contain it (Cf. P. GERM. N. XXV).
Sunday 29 June 1902. At 9 am.
I burn, Jesus… I open my heart to you this morning… You are divine: dispel this darkness… remove all the darkness from us, so that with a flame you give all of yourself. I love you; but if it is little, make me love you even more… You are immense, my God!…
At 10½ in the morning.
Or who will give me eagle feathers; who will give me the feathers of a dove to fly to you?… Give me, O Jesus, the wings of contemplation. How am I going to fly to you? Many things pass through one another!… All created things pass through them; break these chains that prevent me from flying to you… There are also so many other things, O Jesus, that by contemplating them, my soul remains nourished… but in none of them does it remain supported, in none does it know how to rest . In you alone, O Jesus; in you alone this soul of mine rests.
At 4pm.
O Jesus, how are you in the narrow cell of my heart? Are you okay with it? Expand my chest, because it is no longer enough to contain you… Jesus, let me pour out my affections with you…
Ecstasy 100
With sublime accents she asks Jesus to make her share in all the torments of his Passion. She excites her soul to bless, thank and love Jesus, who has benefited her so much (Cf. P. GERM. N. XXIX).
Monday 30 June 1902.
My Lord Jesus, when my lips come close to yours to kiss you, let me feel your gall. When my shoulders rest on yours, let me feel your scourges. When your flesh communicates with mine, let me feel your Passion. When my head comes close to yours, let me feel your thorns. When my side comes close to yours, let me feel the spear.
Oh! What can I ever give you for the many gifts you have given me, for having loved and raised me?… And you, what should you not expect from me, vile creature?… I give you everything you have given me.. .
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My soul, bless Jesus!… Never forget the many gifts he has given you. You see, my soul: at every moment, at every moment, I am considering you, and I find you and see you in so many goods, in so many sweetnesses, and yet I always find you…
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Love that God who loves you so much; lift yourself up to him who lowered himself so much for you. Don’t you see how vigilant he is?… And you. O my soul, show yourself as he shows himself to you; be clean… be pure… Love your Jesus, who raised you from so much misery… Love your God… Bless your Lord…