Ecstasy of St. Gemma: 126-130
The Ecstasies of St. Gemma, a powerful testimony of faith
Ecstasy 126
The cenacle is a school, the Master is Jesus, his doctrine is his flesh and his blood. True wealth for her is the Eucharistic food (Cf. P. GERM. n. XIX).
[August 1902].
Figuring out an academy of Paradise, one must learn to love only. The school is in the cenacle, the teacher is Jesus, the doctrines to be learned are his flesh and his blood.
I realize that you have not given me temporal or passive riches; but you gave me true riches, that is, the nourishment of the Eucharistic Word. What would I become if I did not dedicate all my tenderness to the Holy Host? The Spirit of the Word, reigning in the fruitful womb of the uncreated Parent, will depart and come to make me taste his tenderness.
Oh yeah! I realize, Lord, that to make me deserve a Paradise in heaven, you communicate to me here on earth.
Ecstasy 127
Jesus of him love of him, his delight, comfort of him. He asks for a place in his tabernacle; he offers himself to the SS. Trinity, pray to Jesus to put an end to so many gifts and to burn it with his divine fire (Cf. P. GERM. nn. XXVII and V).
[Towards the end of August 1902].
Love of my love, Jesus, my beloved, my comfort! Sometimes, Jesus, your severity scares me, but your pleasantness consoles me. You will always be my father, and I will always be your faithful daughter and, if you like, I will be your lover…
Make a place for me in your tabernacle, my peace, my rest. Most Holy Trinity, so as not to be so ungrateful to my Jesus, I offer you my intellect; to the Holy Spirit who enriches me with virtue and grace. I was wrong not to fall in love with you, oh Jesus… What a beautiful love yours is, Jesus! It will never be said that he is offended… Don’t allow, Jesus, my ingratitude to discredit your infinite wisdom. Oh, stop, stop with so many gifts. Jesus, second me too…
How can I, Jesus, hide my chest from your fire? Come, Jesus, I open my chest to you, introduce the divine fire. You are flame, Jesus, and you would like my heart to change into flame.
But why doesn’t my spirit make every effort to be grateful to you? Why doesn’t my pride want to stoop to the greatness of so many benefits?… Lovable Jesus, my quiet, my sleep, my rest! Give me a little place, Jesus, in the little room of your tabernacle.
Ecstasy 128
She prays to Jesus to make her hear her voice again. Jesus alone is enough for her and makes her happy (Cf. P. GERM. n. XXXIII).
[September-October 1902].
And what are the consolations of the earth, O Lord, if there were not your consolations? Come, Jesus, let me hear your voice, just one of those words that you made me hear in the ways of trial.
Blessed be you, Jesus, because you almost ordered creatures to abandon me, so that I would be ever closer to you. Ah! you console, you alone console. What does it matter to me, Jesus, that I have no consolations in the world? You alone are enough for me. What would it matter to me if they despised me? You are the one who consoles. If you had made me understand sooner, I would have abandoned myself in your arms. And if you treat a sinner like this, how will you treat your pure souls, the holy souls?
O Jesus, let me embrace you completely. I knew that you were my only good, and yet I despised heaven for bowing to unworthy creatures. Or what was I hoping for? Maybe outside of you I hoped to find more riches, more attractions? Forgive so much of my misery, so much of my iniquity; don’t allow me to get tired of the embraces of your love. Therefore, your love, do not allow me such ingratitude. What would those few consolations that I have on earth be for me if I remained deprived of the consolations of my Jesus?…
You alone, Jesus, because you alone can calm the storms that arise in my heart from time to time; you alone can reinvigorate my soul. You alone, because even if you are alone, you can do everything.
Ecstasy 129
His love for him is entirely and always Jesus’: even while sleeping he loves; invokes the continuous assistance of the heavenly Mother (Cf. P. GERM. nn. XXII, XII, XXXI, IV).
[September-October 1902].
I have nothing at all, oh my God: everything is yours, I have given you everything. Yet my soul would like to love, always love; but I keep it… When he has loved you, and he has loved you very much, you can love whoever you want.
My soul, what are you looking for in this world? I know, I know, you want to love… Love Jesus… love Jesus… You’ll see… you’ll be able to tell me.
O my God, when I am alone, I will not know how to love anything but you. My soul, Jesus alone, Jesus alone, Jesus alone!… And then, when you possess Jesus, do what you like. And if you want to enjoy peace, do so. If you want peace, seek Jesus alone…
In heaven? (laughs). My angel, if you want me to dream about you at night, do it; but show me Heaven and Jesus, beloved Jesus. Lovable Jesus, and… How happy I am, O Jesus, with the thought that you inspire me in the evening! If you would let me know even in the morning!
See, O Jesus: even the night, those hours, those hours! Yes, I’m sleeping; but, O Jesus, the heart does not sleep, it always watches with you at all hours.
Mary, Jesus, I love you both. And do you others crave love? Here it is all: I have no more; what he had… The heart, which is already yours, I return to give it to you…
O my God, I love you… at every hour, at every moment, because I seem to be loved by you in return.
Mama mia, why don’t you come? Mom, will I never see you again on this earth? I can’t be without you, my mother. Do you think that children can live without their mother?… Having a liberal mother like Jesus, an infinite mother like Jesus! How can you both, tell me, show so much mercy towards me?…
What are you doing, my God? I have already given you everything… But what do you long for, what do you long for, O Jesus? Do you crave love? I offer it all to you. But who is worthy of loving you enough?… Nobody, nobody
Ecstasy 130
She would always like to burn for Jesus, live and die of pure charity. She humbles herself when comparing the goodness of Jesus with his baseness and unworthiness. Everything bores and worries her, she sighs and loves only celestial Love. She wants to die a victim of love (Cf. P. GERM. N. XXII).
Sunday 12 October 1902.
My God, my Jesus, my Savior!… My God, I would like to always burn for you, I would like to always palpitate for you, I would like to live, I would like to die of pure charity. Jesus, Jesus, infinite goodness! To you, Jesus, all the movements of my heart; may your humility, O Jesus, make me increasingly aware of the baseness of [my] spirit. I am yours, I was born to you. Tell me, O Lord, what you want from me. What do you want, Jesus, what do you want from me? What do you want from me? I offer you all my pains, so that you may sanctify them. Or how does this poor heart of mine not burn?… It has seen with how much force Jesus communicated to it, and yet… it is always cold!
And who will then explain my beginning… and my end?… The ashes, and then we are left with the soul and God… the soul free and alone with Jesus, my soul… I long for the moment of launching myself from my Jesus. O God, my God!…
Jesus is an infinite ocean of love; and when he came with such strength into my heart, the vehemence of love was such that I said: “Jesus, enough, enough!”. And when he came: «Jesus, do what you do, because the great sweetness that you have instilled in me has taken away all my words, and then…». How come, O Jesus, to enrich so much such a vile creature, viler than the earth itself? Have you perhaps forgotten the many sins committed by this poor soul of mine?
O my Jesus, you say that you willingly forgot about it, to show my soul the love you bring me. Long live Jesus! O sweet chains of Jesus! Whoever is bound with these chains can no longer escape. O saint, love, light me up! O holy love, light me up! Everything bores me, oh Jesus, everything is painful to me; there is no object I desire in these; world: I sigh only and I only love… and I only love… the celestial Love!…
O holy love, light me up:
I don’t want anything else from you.
And then I would like that when I die, everyone will say: “Gemma was a victim of love, and she died only a victim of love”; so that everyone would love Jesus…
At the will of God
Mine complies too.