Ecstasy of St. Gemma: 86-90
The Ecstasies of St. Gemma, a powerful testimony of faith
Ecstasy 86
She is ashamed of herself, believing that she is not on the right path; she prays to Jesus to convert her and remedy her ills (Cf. P. GERM. n. VIII).
Friday 11 April 1902.
I am ashamed, Jesus: I know that I am not on the right path; you must seek the way of the cross. Complete the work of your charity; may my poverty be a title to my conversion… O Jesus, visit my soul: you will not find any healthy meaning in it: my eyes deceive me; sure goods, that is, the goods of heaven, seem nothing to me; the goods of the earth seem great to me.
O Jesus, as long as you have such a compassionate heart, all my ills have a remedy; but I don’t have enough strength to lift myself off the ground, oppressed as I am. Even at this moment I feel some reproach in the depths of my soul.
Ecstasy 87
Remind Jesus of the promise made to her to reveal everything to Father Germano.
Sunday 13 April 1902.
Remember, Jesus, that you promised me to reveal everything to my father… as long as he asks you with humility and perseverance and uprightness, and that he promises to fulfill your Most Holy Sacrament in everything. She will, no matter what.
Ecstasy 88
Remember that Jesus told the Angels to celebrate when she returned to him.
Monday 14 April 1902.
Manifest everything to your glory and to my shame. And then, do you remember, Jesus, three years ago you told the Angels to celebrate my return to you?…
Ecstasy 89
The mere memory of Jesus fills her completely with sweetness. Such divine goodness regrets her ingratitude. It offers Jesus everything that a soul redeemed by his Passion can offer (Cf. P. GERM. n. V).
Sunday 20 April 1902.
Jesus!… O who is my Jesus, who has such a strong, so powerful name?… Who is my Jesus, who fills me completely with sweetness as soon as I remember him?… I feel that it is you, oh Jesus… It’s you, oh Jesus!
What a match, my God! O Jesus, you who have honored me with your trust… how have I managed to confront you with so many sins?… You, O Jesus, who have healed me from so many sins… how have I done with my ingratitude to reopen all your wounds? O Jesus, you who gave me life with grace… how can I give you death with the arrows of my iniquity?… Do you see, O Jesus, in what all my correspondence consists?… In sins !
But I know, O Jesus, how much your food can and is worth… Holy Sacrament, welcome me, accept me.
Oh! I believe that you accept me, O Jesus; but this morning it seemed to me, O Jesus!… Could it perhaps be true?… You know, Jesus, it seemed to me that you had granted all my supplications, that you had answered all my prayers. Can this be given?… I would even hope for it and believe it, if I had been a soul who had always served you faithfully…
Loving Jesus, don’t say it. Yes, I may have even venerated you, but only with my voice. Yes, Jesus, I may have even loved you… but when did he do it… When did you put up with me in the midst of so much rejection? But now, O Jesus, it is no longer time to do it with the voice; I need to start doing it with facts and operations.
I give you, O Jesus… But what should I give you, if I don’t have even a single healthy sense?… Mortification of the senses, drowning of the will… I offer you this. I also offer you, O Jesus, the few fruits of my pain… And then I offer you… everything, O Jesus, as much as a soul redeemed by your Passion can offer you.
Ecstasy 90
She thanks Jesus for the many benefits he has given her; to attest to his love for him, she will always remember his passion, his resurrection and in particular his ascension, at which he would have liked to be present (Cf. P. GERM. n. XXXIII).
Thursday 8 May 1902, Feast of the Ascension.
O Jesus, why not heal me? My Jesus! Jesus, my redemption, I praise you, I bless you; my soul gives you infinite thanks, certainly, O Jesus, inferior to the many benefits you have given me… And it gives you thanks, not as it should give them to you, but as this miserable soul of mine can. You, O Jesus, in your infinite mercy accept me. I offer you praise and prayers: accept them, to be less unworthy of that gift you wanted to give me this morning. It was your goodness that created me; it was your mercy… [that redeemed me] it was finally your patience that has brought me up to this point… [endured].
You, O Jesus, await me as penance, and I await your divine inspiration to begin to live well. My soul, O Jesus, wants you, desires you, and to truly love you I will keep in mind your pains, your wounds, your death, your cross, your resurrection and in particular your ascension.
Why wasn’t I also present when you ascended to heaven, to see you converse with men? Why wasn’t I also present to see an offended God conversing with sinners? . How much I would reciprocate!… .
And you went away, my sweet comforter, blessing all those who were with you, but I was not there… You raised your hands, and a cloud took you to heaven; your Angels said that you would return, but I never saw you again…
But you will return, because you are…