Ecstasy of St. Gemma: 76-80
The Ecstasies of St. Gemma, a powerful testimony of faith
Ecstasy 76
She exalts Jesus’ piety, tenderness and liberality towards her, and asks him to be able to love him more and more. The sweetness of her that she experiences in Holy Communion makes her forget the earth and makes her fully happy (Cf. P. GERM. Nos. XVIII and XIX).
Tuesday 21 January 1902.
What great things, Jesus, your mercy can do! Who will give me, Jesus, the help to be able to correspond to your tenderness? All the hours of my life are marked by you with your liberality. Don’t you see, Jesus, how little effort I make to overcome my passions? I’ve tried it all: far from you, I never find peace. What would happen to me if you got tired? Don’t get tired, Jesus; you will see that little by little I will also be able to make that sacrifice that you ask of me.
O Jesus, can there be anything sweeter in the world than loving you? Now that we are so close, so united, burn me, burn me; because I want to love you forcefully… You see, Jesus, if I asked you for useless things, you would be right to deny them to me; but you see, I ask you something that you appreciate so much; I ask what you ask me many times… You want me to love you; but what can I do if you don’t help me?… You want me to love you at any cost.
O Jesus, if there wasn’t a bit of Holy Communion, what would I do?… If you weren’t there, if the object that excites me was no longer there, how languid my love would be!… And if you lived alone in heaven, my heart is certain that it would fall… But what great things your mercy can do!
How long, Jesus, do you hide your eyes from me! But what does it matter to me to see you, if I feel you: I feel you so well, Jesus; I feel you are looking for me, I feel you love me; you are looking for me all the time.
Here I am, here I am to you. Yes, Jesus, give me wings, wings… strength and rest. You alone can make me happy by drawing me to you. O Jesus, what joy when I am no longer mine, I will be all yours!
Or what happens in me? And I don’t know that it happens; I know that the earth disappears from me, I know that I am happy… I know that I forget everything, I no longer think of anything. How much sweetness, Jesus, in Communion! How much consolation is contained in your heart! Let me, let me stay. My Jesus, my everything, with you embraced I want to live, with you embraced I want to die.
O Jesus, I would be even happier if instead of sweetness I had found you on the way of the cross. But united with whom?… With Jesus… O union!… What a penetrating voice yours is!
Ecstasy 77
Happy to be overcome by the love of Jesus, she wants to know nothing more (Cf. P. GERM. n.
Thursday 23 January 1902.
Do you see, Jesus, my heart? even if he is so small… .
Yes, yes, my Jesus, all my happiness comes from you; I will always look for you everywhere. When I want to find you, I will always look for you in the silence of my heart.
But your visits, Jesus, are not always loving, so what will I do?… But if I really loved you so much, those moments would be more of consolation than pain… I would always rejoice with you.
The bonds of your love are so strong that I cannot get out of them… Leave me freedom too; I will love you everywhere, I will always look for you. Or what have you done to me, Jesus?… or what have you done to my heart, which always seeks you, always wants to come to you? and I cannot prevent him… He remains defeated like this by you, by such a good father… Behold, Jesus: how happy I am now! I would like to be like this forever. Here, Jesus: I don’t want to know anything anymore.
O Jesus, can I hope that in the end this soul will be to your liking? Make this work pleasant to you. You have shown so much perseverance with me that I can say: you have won me with love. Love has overcome me, O Jesus.
Jesus, where should I go to look for happiness, if not from you who always offer it to me?
Ecstasy 78
In the Heart of Jesus she pours his bitterness, caused by the thought of his sins and his ingratitude. She will always remember the graces received from him, to love him more and more. What a joy when she can say that she belongs entirely to Jesus! (Cf. P. GERM. n.
Friday 24 January 1902.
O Jesus!… Let me, Jesus, open my heart to you this morning, uncover all my wounds and pour all my bitterness into yours. O Jesus, in all the days of my life I have always sinned: I have already mourned many offenses; but what’s worse, I always make new ones. How dismayed, Jesus, this morning in this poor heart of mine!… or when will I become better? When will I reform my whole life?
You love me, Jesus; and I alone will have to remain without loving you? What wonderful tenderness of a God towards a poor creature!… Help me, Jesus, help me, and you will see that I will want to love you with sincere, hard-working, living love.
Always, Jesus, I will keep in mind all the graces received from you: it will be an incentive to love you… I will always fuel this flame, Jesus, in my heart. O Jesus, you alone, you alone I want to love; I’m no longer mine, I’m yours.
Giving each other your heart, this is the expression of those who love each other in the world; but it is a cold expression, Jesus, useless… What joy, Jesus, when I will be able to say that I am no longer mine! I’ll be all yours!
Ecstasy 79
The greater her misery, the greater the liberality of Jesus towards her. With Jesus in his heart he feels happy. Jesus will be his loving prey. He wants to make a tent of love in his heart to always keep Jesus prisoner (Cf. P. GERM. N. IX).
Monday 27 January 1902.
My God… have mercy on me. Look how ugly it is, look how deformed my soul is. What will happen to me if you don’t help me? This morning, Jesus, aren’t you disgusted to come close to me? O God!… Here I am in your hands, Lord. Make yourself heard, make yourself heard, Jesus; the greater my misery, the greater your liberality.
What love, what happiness! Or what is happening, Jesus, in me? You’re there, Jesus, you’re really there! How good you are, Jesus, acting as king in my heart! I’m so happy with you! How bad I would be, Jesus, without you! As long as I had so many desires, my soul was restless; Now that I only have one, I’m happy. But let it be, Jesus: since your love is so inaccessible, I will take care of it, I will take care of it… .
You, Jesus, not a day goes by that you don’t do me good; but not a day goes by that I don’t offend you. Even this morning, part of this morning as I have already spent badly! I have nothing in return for your love.
Jesus, my sweet love, treasure of my soul, do with me what you like, as long as I am never divided from you. I will accept everything you send me… Jesus, Jesus, let me repeat it: you will be my loving prey – do you like this word, Jesus? – as I am prey to your immense charity.
Is this how you treat someone who has offended you so much, Jesus? What does it matter, Jesus, that you hide your beautiful face from me, if I feel your dear presence like this?
Here, Jesus, here in my heart I want to make a tent entirely of love: you alone must enter it. I will always keep you with me, always here prisoner; I will no longer give you freedom, no, until you have given me that consolation that I so desire.
And what do I ask you, Jesus? You see we agree: I ask you everything you want.
Ecstasy 80
Prayer is the breath of his soul. He is confused by his coldness in welcoming Jesus into his heart. Ask for love in suffering, to resemble Jesus Crucified (Cf. P. GERM. n. XXI).
Thursday 30 January 1902
A little prayer, Jesus: here is the breath of my soul. What a change of affections we will make in heaven, O Jesus! Those little things that I now tolerate will be reasons for great joy in heaven… Who could understand, Jesus, yours… Could you have done more, Jesus, than what you did for me?…
But I, Lord, with so much coldness I felt like I hadn’t even welcomed you this morning. Have a fire inside me, and not heat me up! What an expansion of heart, Jesus, what a wealth of graces! But could you have done more, Jesus, than what you did? The Confessor is absolutely right… .
Can you do me a favor, Jesus, this morning?… You must give me a little more love for suffering, or rather a little more tolerance: I would like to suffer with the flesh, but I would like to be outside the flesh.
Or what did you say to me, Jesus, this morning? That love is formed with similarity; but is there any resemblance between me and a crucifix?