Ecstasy of St. Gemma: 66-70
The Ecstasies of St. Gemma, a powerful testimony of faith
Ecstasy 66
She delights in the presence of the love and smile of Jesus, who shows himself to be a liberal and sublime father. Coming into her, Jesus becomes greater than her, because her divine mercy triumphs (Cf. P. GERM. N. VI).
Friday 13 December 1901.
Who would I confide my miseries to? Let me call you father… How your presence, your love, your smile consoles me!… You do this with all your lovers, don’t you, Jesus?
Is it possible?… Is it possible that a God has locked himself inside me? Possible? oh, what a chain must form from earth to sky to reach such a high mystery!
My laments always find an echo in your heart, but more in your love… Let, let, Jesus, let me call you father. Yes, because you are too liberal and sublime with me. Let me call you father, because no one forgives my weaknesses, my recklessness like you do… You are an abyss of love, Jesus, and I am an abyss of iniquity.
O God!… O God, O God… I die!… O my Mama, I die!… But may your love, Jesus, be so powerful… Jesus, Jesus, my heart expands , support me! And how long will he conflict with your love like this?
Let me suffer, Jesus: I don’t care. The center of my life is you… Let me say it again: you are great, but despite your greatness, my soul manages to make you greater. O Jesus, is it true? Yes, Jesus, by coming into my soul you make yourself greater, because my soul is so miserable… and your mercy triumphs so much over us.
You remain, Jesus; but my thoughts are too cold for so much work. What happy moments we spend with you! You are an abyss of love, Jesus.
I am proud, Jesus, of your favors, but I know my weakness.
Ecstasy 67
She sacrifices to Jesus everything that nature would like to steal from her. He burns with love; he does not crave sweetness, of which he recognizes himself undeserving, but forgiveness and the heavenly nourishment of the Eucharist (Cf. P. GERM. n. IV).
Wednesday 18 December 1901.
Do you want me, Jesus, to renounce human reasoning? Since you want it, Jesus, from this moment on I will sacrifice to you everything that nature would like to steal from me.
O Jesus, you give me all good will; but I’m quick to reciprocate her in sadness.
I burn, Jesus. What a consolation it would be for me, if they were flames of your pure love!… O Jesus, I want your forgiveness; but no, I don’t want sweets: I didn’t deserve them. For me, Jesus, it would be enough for you to nourish me with your heavenly food. Let me sink into the abyss of your love, Jesus.
And you, Jesus, who always ask me for love, what need do you have to be loved by me? You who are loved so strongly by the Angels!… Ah, but I know: it is not out of necessity that you ask me for love.
Ecstasy 68
She loves Jesus and to resemble him she places her consolation, her sweetness, his glory in the cross. Upon hearing the name of Jesus, his soul rises again. He longs for paradise, he rejoices that his heart has been won by Jesus.
Thursday 19 December 1901, around 10½ hours.
It seemed to me that Jesus was asking me as usual if I loved him. I replied to him…: «Yes». And He added: «And if you love me, you must also love everything that I love». «O you, Jesus, who loves most of all?». And Jesus…: «And you ask me?… I love the cross…». “The cross will therefore be my consolation, my sweetness, my glory.”
Then I told him about the effects the cross had on me; I said that many times my sense will groan, my self-love will be saddened, my passions will tremble, nature will be resented; but from that moment my spirit together with my will, comforted by the grace of Jesus, will be strong.
Jesus then remained silent about this…
«Jesus, when I hear your name remembered, my soul rises: your name alone, your name, Jesus, calms my life. Jesus, I detached my heart from the earth and placed it in you. But my soul, Jesus, breathes and rises when it sees itself overwhelmed by so many continuous favors, and not being able to duly repay them with heroic works, it rises with thoughts and outpourings of love.”
And Jesus made himself heard more than ever at my words, and those words had the effect on me that I would willingly die, die to go to Heaven, and I exclaimed: «O Jesus, this poor soul, being tied to this poor vile body, and not being able to fly to you, it beats its wings and rises as it can to come closer to you; it rises with the spirit, since this is not tied like the body…”.
Then, beside myself with consolation and full of fear, I turned to the Angels: «My Angels of Paradise, witnesses of all the wonders that God works, say: are not these features of infinite power handled by an infinite love?». And turning to Jesus I asked him what he had ever done to my heart, because I can no longer command him: he always always wants to go to Jesus, and I cannot stop him; already by himself he no longer wanted to be mine, he gave himself entirely to Jesus. And Jesus with his amiable and penetrating voice replied to me: “I have overcome him”.
«Oh yes, I am happy to have been overcome by so much goodness, by so much love! Long live Jesus! » .
Ecstasy 69
Praise the heartfelt love of Jesus towards her wretch; the Heart of Jesus and his heart are always together; Jesus is her paradise on earth, but she always fears losing him. Her greatest glory is to please him; that the thorns of Jesus penetrate her soul (Cf. P. GERM. nn. XXV and VI).
Saturday 21 December 1901.
Praise to the heartfelt love of Jesus, who, moved with pity for my misery, offers me all the means to reach his love for her! You, Jesus, are a treasure not known to me… but now I have known you as all mine, especially your heart. Yes, it is mine, because several times you have given it to me in one piece. Who would have thought that your heart and mine would always be together? But yours, filled with light, and mine filled with darkness… You are too liberal, Jesus… The Angels alone, Lord, are witnesses of the traits of your love in the soul. Jesus, my Paradise here on earth, when, when, Jesus… will I pass from this thick darkness to the clear light of my Jesus? When will the fear of losing you pass?… Yes, I fear, I fear, Jesus, more of myself than of all the torments.
Don’t you see, Jesus, that when you send me a little cross, I cry? But don’t worry about my tears; crucify me too. My greatest glory is to please you. I am happy that your thorns penetrate my soul.
Or that, Jesus, I don’t see you? Don’t I see in you a companion who encourages me and gives me strength?…
Ecstasy 70
Drunk with divine love, she turns to Father Germano, urging him to believe the word of Jesus and please him.
Wednesday 25 December 1901,
from a half past two to a quarter past two.
Jesus the moment is precious; Jesus, hurry, hurry. My Father… what do I seek, what do I long for, what do I want more? Jesus, the moment is precious, you do it, you do it…
Father father, do you hear Jesus? You can fear me, but not Jesus… Can’t you hear, my father? Please Jesus, my father. You see, my father, today you only listen to the voice of Jesus… It’s not Gemma who tells you things, it’s Jesus… You can believe in Jesus… . You can’t hold on anymore, my father… and I still hold on.