Ecstasy of St. Gemma: 51-55
The Ecstasies of St. Gemma, a powerful testimony of faith
Ecstasy 51
With childish simplicity he shows Jesus that he has the strength to suffer; he desires only one thing: to fly to heaven; but for now obedience doesn’t allow it. He offers Jesus his life, and if he had a hundred, he would give them all; she is ready for any sacrifice (Cf. P. GERM. nn. XXVI and I).
[Early December 1900]
Jesus, O Jesus, wants it [the Confessor]; Jesus, he wants it. Oh Jesus, or it wasn’t to make me suffer! And then what do you do? what, Jesus?
He says I have no strength; feel my pulse a little… Send us the Angel… What are you saying, Jesus?
How happy I am! I’m happy, Jesus; I’m so happy! Or what do I care about all these things? I would like only one thing: in Heaven with you.
I can’t, Jesus, now, I can’t; leave me alone… Soon, quickly, to Heaven with Jesus.
And obedience, Jesus, where does it leave us? Dear Jesus, do you want… We must obey.
No, Jesus, I am not coming, no: I have told you many times that I am your victim and you will be the sacrificer; but, wait.
O Jesus, how many times have I called you, and you have always made me happy!… In Heaven with you!… Or how can I, Jesus, express my gratitude to you?… My God, or how can I not desire Jesus, don’t you long for heaven?
I can’t, I can’t…
I want you, yes, I want you. Hurry, Jesus, hurry. Do you think, Jesus, that I can stay like this?… You say it yourself: I can’t stay… Come on, Jesus, hurry; go, Jesus.
We are always here: I have sinned, I have committed many sins… what do I care, Jesus, if everything I ask of you every morning happens? I offer you my life… You stole my heart, Jesus: I no longer have it. Hurry, Jesus.
But what do you want, Jesus?… But do you think I’m waiting for you to ask me for life? It is yours: I have already offered it to you… How do you like it, Jesus, that I offer it to you? victim of my sins and of sinners?… It is yours, Jesus, my life. Hurry, Jesus: my life is in your hands.
No, I’m not waiting for you to ask me, no: it’s yours… it’s yours… I’ve committed many sins, Jesus… Not one, Jesus, but if I had a hundred, many, I’d give them all to you. you. I only have one!…
Jesus, go; Jesus, I could say yes! O Jesus, my God!… I go to Jesus, my God… My God! Dear Jesus… My God, Jesus… I am ready for anything, for anything, for anything.
What a curious Jesus! it seems to him that asking for my life is a sacrifice. It’s a grace for me.
Ecstasy 52
At the sight of the pains of Jesus, a work entirely of love, it too yearns to consume itself as a victim of love for Jesus (Cf. P. GERM. nn. XXXII and XXXIII.
[Towards the end of February 1901].
Jesus, the strength of my arms!… come, Jesus, to reign in the midst of my heart.
Jesus, but you ask me for love… Who killed you, Jesus? The love. Jesus, those nails, that cross… all a work of love…
O Jesus, what would happen if one day it could be said that I was consumed by your love?
Do you know, Jesus, how I would like to be? Victim of love for you! .
Ecstasy 53
Having been forbidden by her Confessor to suffer with Jesus, she says that Friday will no longer be a holiday for her (Cf. P. GERM. n. XIV).
[Thursday 21 March 1901].
Jesus, he [the Confessor] has forbidden me everything; I have no other comfort left than prayer. I am deprived of everything.
Don’t be afraid, Jesus: no person in the world will be able to separate me from you.
Of my head, which has served you so many times, no no, I can’t give you anything; I can only stay for one hour and no more with you.
I’ve been waiting for this evening, Jesus, for a long time… Oh my God! You alone, Jesus, know these nights that I have spent… everything that I have been through. Jesus, you know if my strength could hold me. And now he [the Confessor] is afraid that they will no longer hold me.
Leave me alone, Jesus. Friday will come, O Jesus, but it will no longer seem like a holiday to me. Friday used to be a day of celebration for me, but now it is no longer. In fact I suffer more, because I can’t help you.
Ecstasy 54
Naive conversation with the Angel of Father Germano.
Good Friday 5 April 1901, at 2½ pm.
And… but if my father had known the punishment I had received from Jesus, he wouldn’t have sent you.
But yes, I’m happy… But does my father really send you? breast…
O good!… But when you return to him, kiss his heart, his dress and his hand.
Yes, yes, I will do everything to listen to his advice … I will do everything to do what he commands me.
I’ll tell him straight away… But Jesus?… Talk to Jesus… Is he more serious with me?… Tell him I ask him for forgiveness.
But Jesus of my heart where is he?
Yes, I feel it (and here he put his hand to his heart. And then he said): But did you leave without saying anything to Jesus? But now get ready for a good scolding; because Jesus had punished me…
Ecstasy 55
He shows his repugnance in carrying out an embassy given to her by Jesus, but promises to obey immediately.
[April 1901].
Oh Jesus, I can’t take it anymore. Oh Mother, Mother! I want to say… do you believe it, Jesus? they don’t believe it. Jesus, tell me the precise words.
Yes, Jesus… go and say those things! I don’t tell her: [the Confessor] doesn’t believe it anyway.
Yes, I’ll say it right away!