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Ecstasy of St. Gemma: 16-20

The Ecstasies of St. Gemma, a powerful testimony of faith

Ecstasy 16

She pities the Most Holy Mary, who is afflicted by the death of Jesus and by the offenses committed against him. She prays to her insistently for the conversion of a sinner; she enjoys bringing her some relief with her affections; she warmly recommends the Giannini family to her (Cf. P. GERM. n. XXXI).

Saturday 31 March 1900.

Tell me, my Mama, what did you do when you saw your Jesus crowned? what did you do, what did your heart feel?… Ah! I mean, I mean: it’s too great a pain… What a difference from your heart to mine!… It was a great pain… Or what will I do here today?… Jesus is dead. and you, my Mama, cry. Or what will I do? who do I speak to and who do I have with me today?… I am not worthy, my Mama, of you being with me… But will I not deceive myself? Will I really have the Mother of Jesus there?
Why are you crying?… what is the cause that makes you cry? If you cry because they offend Jesus, my Mama, console yourself: I will do everything to ensure that you are not offended; I will do everything to make them leave Jesus alone.
And ask me, my Mama, what is the thing that drives me to love Jesus so much? And don’t you know what he promised me? That if I am a companion in sorrows, I will also be a companion in glory. Do not be afraid, my Mama, that I will sacrifice everything: words, thoughts, sufferings, so that [Jesus] is less offended.
But why, my Mama, do I find you so distressed?… And what am I forgetting?…
It is true… and today, my Mama, weep for the sinners… O bad sinners, stop crucifying Jesus, for at the same time you also pierce the Mother!
Abandon that soul? But what are you saying today, Mamma mia? Or is it not a soul of Jesus? did not [Jesus] shed all her blood [for her]? Oh yes, abandon her!…
It’s true, I forgot him these days: is this why you want to abandon him?… No no, stay still, go and appease Jesus.
But Jesus always obeys his Mother.
But if you are omnipotent!…. Oh! before abandoning a soul, oh my Mama… Is it possible, possible that Jesus wants to abandon a soul?… But come on! Jesus, who had mercy on that thief…
I know, Mamma mia, who he is, but I don’t want to see him… When he is safe, then I will see him.
Mother, what are you doing to me today, you who intercede for sinners?… But perhaps you have stopped being a mother? Impossible!… Oh, the words of Gabriellino: Any difficult cause that is placed in your hands, are you capable of winning it? .
My goodness, do you want to leave me so distressed today? Promise me, if you can; obtain for me from Jesus what you obtained for me on Saturday: how happy I would be!
You tell me, my Mama: because as soon as I see you, you are so afflicted, and then you. do I see a little happier? But maybe I’m capable of taking away some of your pain? But if it were true, I would never want to leave you.
My Mama, if you have some relief in being with me, tonight we will be together… but obtain for me from Jesus what you obtained for me the other Saturday… One last thing, my Mama: What did your heart feel in the stay with Jesus? What a big difference from mine!…
My goodness, today without ever hearing Jesus, ever!… What does it matter? but in the morning I hold it close to my heart.
And you ask me to be happy?… You too are happy, and then I’m happy too. I’ll only have a few more Saturdays, and then maybe who knows if we’ll see each other again?… My goodness, will you leave me?… Here I am again without my mother!
One last thing, one more thing I always want to tell you, that I couldn’t say to Jesus: I can’t explain, but listen.
It will be like this, my Mama; I couldn’t tell Jesus. My mother, I recommend you… my family and this. Tell Jesus to help her in times of trial; if ever Jesus were to lay His hand heavy on them, I am here: lay heavy on me too. I highly recommend this to you; tell Jesus it’s a big deal…

Ecstasy 17

He rejoices at the visit of Jesus, who asks him first of all for the salvation of his soul, and then to suffer, but in secret; she says she is ready to join the Carmelites, even though it is a great sacrifice for her (Cf. P. GERM. n. XX).

Monday 2 April [1900].

Even today, even today Jesus? Here again today Jesus!… Come, come, Jesus, for I desire you day and night… I desire nothing but you, Jesus… Finally after two days I was able to see you again… You alone, Jesus, I you can make people happy; I wasn’t expecting you today, Jesus… Many, Jesus, ask me: «What are you doing for so long in front of Jesus?». And I reply: “What does a poor woman do in front of a great lord?”.
I need everything, Jesus… Tell me that my soul will be safe, that you will save it for me, and I will be happy. What will become of my poor soul?
Today, Jesus, do not be angry with me… because I have many things to tell you. Listen, Jesus, first I recommend one thing to you: that the pains that you send me on Thursdays and Fridays, between you and me alone, Jesus! If you also sent me the signs, I would be very sorry… Do you want to please me, oh Jesus?… make me suffer a lot, but in secret, between you and me alone… But even today you are with me again; but I’m not deceived, my eyes don’t deceive me, do they?
Jesus, I would like to talk to you… but what if you don’t answer me?… I would like to talk to you about the Borgo; O Jesus, tell me something; have you absolutely decided to send me?… But you don’t answer me? If you want, the sacrifice has already been made for several days; but not one of the sacrifices, but several: having to leave the Confessor, or Jesus; so far from the Confessor, depriving me of what you were so happy for me to let him know everything… But you don’t answer me? Every time I talk to you about these things, you don’t answer me.
But even today, Jesus; today, Jesus, I wasn’t expecting you… But how happy I am! so, so much, Jesus!… Jesus, Jesus, don’t leave me. I have many things to tell you: don’t leave me so soon!… But will you come back? And you leave me like this?…
Here I am alone again!…

Ecstasy 18

Happy to find herself with Jesus, she expresses to him the desire she has to suffer for him, but begs him that nothing should appear on the outside. He greets the cross with transport, yearns for martyrdom, prays for a sinner (Cf. P. GERM. Nos. VII and XXX).

Thursday 5 April 1900.

Even today, Jesus? Come, come, Jesus: I feel your closeness. Come on, Jesus, or why are you doing this? You see, Jesus: the further you move away, the more I feel you. I want you, Jesus, and no one else. I feel your closeness; Come on, let me see you. Won’t you let me hear your voice today? Two days, Jesus, I wanted to be with you…
Here is Jesus, here he is; Now I see you and feel you…
That I want? What do I want from you, O Jesus? Think, Jesus, it’s been two days since I saw you; then when I have to be without it forever…
That I want? Or why insist that I want?
And I am ashamed, oh Jesus… but I will know how to punish my bad tongue. One thing, Jesus, I want to tell you, but I don’t understand it… Just a few more hours and then your Passion begins… and the Confessor wants me to repeat to you the words that St. Catherine of Siena said: If you want me to suffer alone, yes; may I suffer so much and with you. Do you like this, Jesus, this way? I suffer more, you know; my suffering is with you, my Jesus; but when Friday approaches, I’ve told you several times, it’s a day of celebration for me, except for that bad guy… . Make me strong, but with your strength… Do you see her, Jesus, this poor creature, who comes before you several times? Oh how many times did he make room for that villain! How many times do I call your immaculate Mother! but… But what will I do, Jesus? To stay with you I leave it to do the. meditation?
You’re right: I want to meditate at night, but this is where I have to do it.
How can we, Jesus, stay here before you and say nothing to this cross? O holy cross, with you I want to live and with you I want to die. And I love the cross, because I know that the cross is on the shoulders of Jesus.
Yes, Jesus, if you place that cross on my shoulders, I will fall. And then the Confessor tells me that I am good for nothing; and then I cry, I break down.
Is it possible, Jesus? But is that cross exactly the one you carried on your shoulders?
But yes, I want it; Even now I would take it from you, Jesus. The world wants to tell me many things, I feel happy, Jesus.
And just at the moment of taking it, I can’t: the Confessor doesn’t want it. I’ll take it from you tonight; he really doesn’t want obedience. Are you happy, isn’t it, when I prefer the Confessor to you?
Another thing I want to tell you, that you pretend to have forgotten: tell me, Jesus, did you like that thing I did the other night?
Much? And you won’t tell me about it? The Confessor liked it a lot. You want to know, he told me “well done”; but how much strength I needed! you who saw it… But I knew how to overcome myself for your love. I wouldn’t have told it even to the Confessor, but he asked me for your love; but what wouldn’t I do for your love?
Sometimes the Confessor asks me if I would suffer martyrdom for you: what a beautiful death Jesus!… If they found me dead here at your feet! But no one knew…
Forgive me, Jesus, because when I am at your feet, I forget who I am; but I don’t think that I have made you cry so many times.
I would like to recommend to you a great sinner; but I don’t think, Jesus, that before I had to recommend to you a great sinner.
When he is saved, Jesus: then yes, now no.
You do not answer? Do you suffer like this, Jesus?…

Ecstasy 19

Contemplating Mary Most Holy but at the foot of the cross, united with her divine Son in the same sacrifice, she feels the love of the cross growing in her heart. In the next Holy Week everything will suffer for sinners (Cf. P. GERM. n. XXX).

Saturday 7 April [1900].

Mama mia, where can I find you? always at the foot of the cross of Jesus… What a sigh, my Mama, when you saw Jesus dead!… when you saw him put in the tomb and when you had to separate!
Possible? How come you have suffered so much because of me, my Mama? How did you do it, oh my Mama, how did you do it?… Poor Jesus!… Tell me, how did you… see Jesus nailed to the cross?… My Mama, let me know the cross; but not that of Jesus… but the one that I will have to embrace; let me know it, so that I can say: Even more, O Jesus, more, more, more… more… more… more, Jesus!
Mamma mia… or Mamma mia, what about sinners? Whose children are they? they are your children.
Everything, everything, Mamma mia, that I will spend this week… everything for them: we have reached it. You are the mother of sinners; go, make yourself known, Mamma mia.
Who doesn’t pity you, Mama mia? I see, you can’t get enough of looking at those wounds.
Is it possible not to love you, who have suffered so much for me? Who doesn’t pity you? If only I could!…
Oh what pain was yours!… Jesus no longer recognizes himself. What would you do?… O God!… Jesus is dead, mother cries, and I alone have to remain insensitive?… I no longer see just one sacrifice, I see two: one for Jesus, one for Mary! … O my Mama, whoever saw you with Jesus would not be able to tell who is the first to die: is it you or Jesus?

Ecstasy 20

She enjoys resting close to the Heart of Jesus, from which nothing can ever separate her. She willingly embraces all the sufferings that Jesus will give her in the beautiful days of Holy Week (Cf. P. GERM. n. VIII.)

Palm Sunday 8 April 1900.

I hear you… Did you want to remember me today too? O Jesus, Father of mercy… I thank you… Who will divide me from you? Maybe the tribulation? perhaps the cross?… O Jesus, I feel you… I feel your blood flowing in my veins; Jesus I feel you… Jesus, how happy I am, Jesus, that after so long, tired of fighting, I can rest a little close to your heart! I’m tired, yes, after so many nights like this…
Jesus, what beautiful days are approaching!… what beautiful days, oh Jesus!… Jesus, you have not even given me any sign that your Passion is approaching.
Hate! Jesus, how can I?… How will I do it, Jesus?… O God! Jesus, who will help me? … (and he fell to the ground). Your will, O Jesus, be done!… What will I do without your help, what will I do, Jesus? Come on, come on, Jesus, and then… So, Jesus, do you want all these sufferings, do you want me to embrace them all? Oh yes, Jesus! I embrace them all willingly, because they are the very sufferings of Jesus.
When, Jesus, when?… Oh good, good, Jesus!… And you… will always be with me, isn’t it, Jesus?…

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