“Letters Under the Tree” | 13

This letter came to us under today’s tree. Whoever you are, spazio + spadoni is close to your heart

Dear World,

I haven’t spoken to anyone in weeks. Too much pain and even greater regret.

I can’t even say it, because then it really seems to have happened, just as I struggle so much to live and resume life as usual. My son is gone and it is almost Christmas. He has decided to leave, to turn off his dreams, to deprive my days of his presence.

How do you do it? How do I do without him? How do I go on? Emptiness.

I have been crying all my tears for days, thinking if Someone up there will forgive him, wondering if at least he himself has forgiven himself. Besides missing him, which is terrible, this is my other great worry.

I don’t have the courage to go to church and ask a priest. What if he then tells me that my son died in sin??!

So when I read about these letters under the tree from your site, I thought it was easier to write it to people who don’t even know me and don’t know who I am. Maybe, as I ask for mercy for my son, this letter will also reach him and maybe he will reply to me?

Exceptionally, we respond to this letter

Dear*,

we cannot tell from your letter whether you are a man or a woman, but we can understand all your sorrow: which we want to welcome and make ours too, even though we do not know you.

The death of a child must be a terrible thing, almost impossible to accept, but you have to pull yourself together and move on. This is not a catch phrase, and we understand how difficult it can be to put it into practice after such a tragic and unexpected event.

Feed on his memories and live for him as well. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Ask anyone; every answer they give you will be a step and comfort n more. Your son is inside you and there he will stay forever, so he will respond to you in his own way, with signals that only you can recognize.

In the meantime, however, allow us to answer you on that question that oppresses you.
God has mercy on each of us; he is always there, ready to forgive us and make us feel his love.
We wanted to tell you this and to remind you that our and His mercy is also directed to you.

Tomorrow, it is Christmas Eve. We are sure that everyone who has read your letter will have a thought for you.
We don’t know if you are a believer or not, but try to go to church or, if you just can’t get out of the house, light a candle. You need to light hope: we will be close to your heart, you are not alone*.

Merry Christmas, inhabitant of spazio + spadoni.

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