IV World Day of Grandparents and Elders
The fourth day for the Church of all grandparents and elders of the world will be celebrated on Sunday, July 28, two days after the feast day of Saints Anne and Joachim, parents of Mary and therefore grandparents of Jesus for the apocryphal Gospels and according to Catholic religious tradition
The day, has as its theme, chosen by Pope Francis, the invocation of the Psalm, “In old age do not abandon me.”
It is a particularly appropriate theme as it is situated in the common dimension of “Fruitful Fragility” of the elderly condition beautifully represented by Pope Francis’ Catecheses on the Elderly, Grandparents and Intergenerational Bonds.
Not only that, but it results in continuity with the previous three annuals.
In the Message of the first one with the theme, “I am with you all days (Mt. 28:20),” Pope Francis, quoting the Prophet, “Your sons and your daughters will prophesy, your young men will have visions and your old men will have dreams” (Joel 3 1), highlights the need, for the future of the world, for the alliance between the elderly and the young and, in general, between generations.
He affirms that it is the responsibility of the elders to pass on fulfilled and unfulfilled dreams, handing them over to the young, as well as to witness hopes and mistakes not to be repeated. Therefore, even with differences in roles and tasks (prophecy, vision, dream), a fruitful interaction between generations must be realized in the transmission, continuity, and evolution of culture, life, and, for believers, faith.
In the second: “In old age they will still bear fruit” (Psalm 92:15) the condition of frailty, limitation and weakness is expressed, which leads back to the fear of abandonment mentioned in the theme of the current annuality, not excluding, however, positively, indeed, the presence of resources and possibilities for oneself and especially for others.
In the third: “From generation to generation his mercy (Lk 1:50)” recalls, echoing the first annuality, a fundamental aspect of the third age, namely that of the link with the other two younger generations.
On the occasion of this fourth celebration, the Dicastery for the Laity, Family and Life, disseminated material and gave very important indications which, however, I fear risk, without a concrete and constant commitment of the whole community and in particular of the elderly and grandparents, avoiding exclusive delegations to presbyters alone, of being reduced to a bureaucratic “circular” of fulfillments in the face of the Holy Father’s “Prophetic” Gospel message on Old Age and the profound relationship between “the two extreme ages of life,” the elderly and children/young people, against the “culture of discarding.”
In fact, not only on this occasion, but every day of the year, we grandmothers/elderly must not simply fear and/or blame others for the risk of “being abandoned,” but rather commit ourselves, admittedly within the limits of our possibilities and frailties, to pursue for ourselves and our neighbor what is the most effective remedy to abandonment: the care of good human relationships and with Jesus.
Based on the experience of “secularly” elderly and grandparenting, I think certain conditions are important for the purpose. First, reciprocity that excludes asymmetrical relationships of both possession/preventive and giving/dependence.
Reciprocity implies, to be authentic and effective, the most balanced exchange of resources, skills and content among themselves even different and useful to the satisfaction of the needs of the members of the relationship.
A relationship is therefore all the more valuable the richer it is, that is, its members can exchange different skills, resources and competencies.
Wealth and flexibility allow relationships to transform themselves in the inevitable changes and evolution of life contexts. It is up to each person to grasp the substance of it by enhancing the positive aspects and neutralizing the negative ones as much as possible.
Since every relationship can, due to various endogenous and exogenous factors, be subject to extinction, psychologically experienced as abandonment, the negative effects are controlled through the presence of a plural network of relationships, which assume replacement functions.
Therefore, each relationship must certainly be experienced with responsibility, but never come to be considered exclusive and in any case irreplaceable, at least in part.
These considerations remind me of the practical wisdom of my maternal grandmother, summarized in: “Help thyself that heaven help thee.”
But reality is often stronger than desires and invokes the transcendent and Faith dimension. I remember then my other grandmother’s “folk religiosity” pill, “As God wills.”
In essence, the complementary human experiences of abandonment and “being in relationship” find consolation, grounding and fulfillment when “anchored” in the “Theophany of Relationship” that is in the Life, Death and Resurrection of Jesus, Man/God.
On the Cross, the cry, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me” (Mt 27:46; Mk 15:34) expresses the very human despair in pain
But first, in the solitude of Gethsemane, the very human, “Father if you will remove this cup from me!” is counterbalanced by the recognition that one’s self is part of a design that transcends it, “Nevertheless, not my will but your will be done (Lk 22:42).” Jesus the Son, knows that the Father never abandons. God, already in the Old Testament, is not alone but “in relationship” with Man and his creation.
“Do not be afraid, you seek Jesus of Nazareth, the crucified, he has risen, he is no longer here” (Mk. 16:6).
The Resurrection testifies that abandonment is never final and is overcome by a new Relationship that is also radically transformed, but never denied.
In fact, the risen Jesus returns and at Pentecost, faced with the apostles’ bewilderment, he does not abandon but transforms the relationship with the disciples from a “dependence” on the Master to a “presence alongside”: “…I will be with you all days until the end of the world” (Mt 28:20). He entrusts them with the mission of spreading his Word to the world: “As the Father has sent me, I also send you…Receive the Holy Spirit” (Jn 20:19). “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mk 16:15).
On the Day of Grandparents and the Elderly, splendid and appropriate then turns out to be the Prayer ((see note: Prayer) of the Holy Father, which calls us back to personal responsibility in the world and for the world starting with those closest to us (grandchildren and their parents), founded and made possible by Jesus, forsaken and risen.
“Lord, …you who never leave us alone, and accompany us through every season of life, do not abandon us, take care of us…. Your spirit of love conform us to your tenderness and teach us too to say, – I will not abandon you – to those we meet on our path.”
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